Twilight Redux
by gilesgirl82
Summary: A Twilight rewrite with more adult themes and characterizations. Be warn there is drinking and sex depicted in my version.
1. Chapter 1

I watched as the rain ran across the window of the limo as it moved slowly through the cemetery. The dreary day was appropriate for a funeral but then again it was Forks, Washington where it was dreary and rainy practically every day. The limo slowed down and finally stopped at the gravesite. It was covered with a tent and there was already a small crowd gathering. I looked over at my dad and grabbed his hand. His eyes were red and teary but he managed to eek out a small smile.

"You ready?" I asked him.

He answered by nodding his head.

The service was short because of the rain but the speech the priest gave was eloquent. It was a lovely blessing for my stepmother as she went on into the next life or whatever happened to us after we die. I didn't believe the priest's words of solace in the knowledge that my stepmother was in the arms of God. But it seemed to help my father as he quietly let his tears run down his cheeks.

My mother died in a car crash when I was 16 and that was pretty much the end of my relationship with God. My father remarried two years later right before I went to Arizona State University for college. Ellen was a sweet woman who made my father happy and that was all I really cared about. I missed my mother dearly but understood why my father wanted to remarry fairly quickly. As a professor at a small college in western Washington state, he craved companionship to complement his academic lifestyle. As a professor of Eastern European history, he and my stepmother traveled frequently during the summer months and were quite in love. It was a hard shock to my father when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctors had given her a year and she lived that last year to the fullest. The end, though, was very sad. When I visited from ASU towards the end of my sophomore year, I realized she did not have very long to live and saw that my father was a wreck. I decided last minute to transfer to his college, Eastern Washington State University, so that I could be closer to Ellen and my dad, Charlie, as they dealt with the impending sadness. Unfortunately, Ellen didn't make it through the summer and so, although I was certainly going to miss my friends and life in Phoenix, I was very happy with the decision to stay with my dad and be there while he went through all of this again.

The reception at my dad's house after the funeral was somber and quiet. My dad had introduced me to several of his colleagues and some of his graduate students. I barely paid attention because I was just trying to make sure that he got through the reception ok. I tried to act as hostess, making sure people had enough to drink and keeping the buffet full so it was quiet a while before I realized I was being stared at.

I was carry a plate of small sandwiches to place on the dining room table which had become a makeshift buffet table when I happened to glance up feeling a pair of eyes staring at me. Not just any eyes, but golden, amber, tiger eyes with such intensity that I dropped the plate at once, letting the sandwiches and the silver platter fall all over the floor. For a glimmer of a second I thought I saw the face that went with the eyes. But the face was so perfect I figured I had imagined it.

I bent down to clean up the mess I made and saw another pair of hands picking up lettuce and mini buns.

"Oh," I said still flustered from the intense eyes I had just locked my own with. "Thank you," I said while cleaning up the mess.

"You're welcome," a male voice said as we stood up together. He handed me the pieces of the sandwiches. As I tried to keep the spoiled sandwiches on the plate he said, "I'm so sorry for your loss, Bella."

"Oh," I said taken aback. How did he know me? "Thank you. And you are?"

"Oh I'm sorry. How rude of me," he said holding out his hand. "I'm Mike. I'm one of your dad's students. He talks a lot about you in office hours," he said smiling.

I smiled and tried to balance the tray in my left hand while shaking his. "Well, I'll have to talk to him about that." I placed the ruined sandwich tray on the table and I realized I was going to have to make small talk.

"So, you go to school in Phoenix?"

"Yes," I said then correcting myself, "well, I did. I transferred here when my stepmom got sick."

"Oh," he said. But I couldn't help but notice a glimmer of happy surprise in his eyes when I mentioned my transfer. I couldn't deal with this right now. Although he was my dad's student, my major was ancient history and he looked like a frat boy/business school kind of guy. The chances of me running into him again were slim.

"It was nice meeting you Mike, but I should really throw out these sandwiches."

"Oh, sure, Bella," he said excusing himself. "It was nice meeting you. Hope to see you around campus." Then after a pause, "I am really sorry about your stepmom," he said sincerely.

I was a tad taken aback by his sincerity. My dad must be a popular professor. "Thank you," I said smiling sweetly.

As he walked away and I went to pick up the tray of sandwiches, I remembered why I had dropped them in the first place. I looked up quickly and scanned the dining room for those amber eyes. They weren't in the corner where I saw them. I looked around and out into the foyer. Nowhere to be seen. I sighed and walked towards the kitchen.

I threw out the sandwiches in the trash and went to open a bottle of wine. Those eyes were practically burning into my skull. So vivid, like the tiger's eye stone that I used to play with when I was a child with my mom. She was a geologist and taught at EWSU with my dad. When I was little she would bring home her stones for me to play with. I always wanted to play with the Tiger's Eye. It was always a changing stone, when I held it up to the light the yellows, golds and browns would dance in the sunlight reflecting off each other creating their own choreography in the light. I always used to wish my eyes were the color of Tiger's Eye instead of the boring brown color I was born with. My mother would say my brown eyes were like a special facet of the Tiger's Eye: the best part.

Suddenly I felt guilty for reminiscing about my mother at my stepmother's funeral. I practically chugged the glass of wine.

"Bella!"

As I heard that voice I paused just briefly and then quickly chugged the rest of my wine. Not exactly what I was intending to do but I knew that voice. That was the voice of Jacob Black.

I turned around and said, "Hello Jacob."

He hugged me fiercely and I smiled despite myself. It was good to see him.

"I'm so sorry to hear about Ellen," he said seriously. "Charlie told my dad it was bad but I had no idea."

"I don't think any of us really did."

There was an awkward pause. I toyed with my wine glass. "Do you want a glass of wine? Beer?"

Jacob smiled his big smile and said, "Oh no, still underage, you know. 20 and all." He said winking. "I don't think it'd be appropriate here."

I smiled slightly. "Sure, sure. Plus your dad is here right?"

"Yep that's right," he replied. And then his face lit up. "Have you said hi to Billy yet?"

"Uh, no, I haven't—"

"You have to say hi Bella!!" he said taking my hand and dragging me through the kitchen. I felt like I was going to need another drink. "He loves you!"

Of course, he loves me, Jacob. He thinks you and I are meant for each other, I thought to myself. While growing up in Forks, Jacob and I were friends from the beginning. Our dads were practically best friends, despite their difference in occupation and background, and it was only naturally that we would be friends. During high school, our friendship grew into something more and we fell in love as 16 and 17 year olds. And then I left Forks to go to ASU and everything changed. He was content continuing on his dad's mechanic's shop and not going to college. I wanted more. We broke up and I moved on. Jacob didn't… as far as I knew.

"Dad! Look who it is!" Jacob said as he brought me to his dad. Billy Black was a big imposing man. He was much taller than was typical for his ethnicity. Most American Indians were of short stature, Billy Black was above 6' 3" and was visibily strong. Their heritage reached back prior to the landing of the pilgrims at Plymouth Rock. Their blood ran deep in this area.

"Bella!" Billy said giving me a great, big bear huge. "How are you? I'm so sorry to hear about your stepmom."

"Thanks Billy," I said relaxing with the comfort he seemed to emanate.

I smiled as he stepped away from me. "You look wonderful Bella."

"Oh thanks," I said smiling shyly. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Jacob looked at me closely as his dad complemented me.

"Again, I'm so sorry to hear about Ellen. If there's anything we can do as you get settled here please do not hesitate to contact us," Billy said as softly as his booming, imposing voice could allow.

I smiled meekly. "Thanks Billy. Both my dad and I appreciate it."

"Of course," he said looking at me. And I could have sworn he looked at Jacob.

"Dad, please I'll take care of this!" I said as I washed the silver platters in the sink.

My dad carried in more platters and empty plastic cups. "Bell, I am not an invalid. I can help you clean up."

I didn't reply to him. I knew my dad was trying to keep busy but I also knew, from when my mom died, that he needed to be alone. I finished cleaning the platters and watched him pick up empty paper plates and plastic cups. At least he's staying busy, I thought to myself.

"I met one of your students Dad," I practically yelled as I continued drying. "His name is Mike. I think he's a business student or something."

My dad came in from another room. "Ah, yes. Mike. He's having some problems with my folklore class."

I laughed slightly. "Really? He seemed like the totally history buff?" I said sarcastically.

My dad looked at me and actually smiled. "He's actually a nice boy Bella. It would behoove you to make his acquaintance."

I rolled my eyes. At least this was the dad I knew. "I already have dad." I said finishing up my drying.

I heard him from the other room, "Did you meet anyone else?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. Really dad? Now? "Not really," I said putting away the platters. "I did see Billy and Jacob Black."

"You did?" my dad asked with much too enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes again.

"Yes, dad."

"How are they?" he asked me from the other room.

"Same as always."

There was a pause as we cleaned up. My dad and I were similar that way. We didn't feel the need to fill the pauses in our conversation. Then I realized that was usually Ellen's job. I quickly thought of the first thing I could, "I thought I saw another one of your students here besides Mike."

He didn't respond. I thought maybe I had waited too long to fill the void. Damn. "Oh really?" he responded. A wave of relief washed over me. "Who did you meet?"

"I'm not sure," I said as I finished putting away the platters. "I just caught a glimpse of him I think. It seemed like he wasn't here long."

"Oh,' he said coming into the kitchen. He had an armful of plastic plates and cups. "That was probably Edward Cullen. He was here with his sister. They are two of my best students. They aren't very social but truly brilliant in the classroom." He threw out his cups and plates and then looked at me. "I suppose you noticed his looks?" he said with a smile in his eyes.

Was that the person that went with the golden mystery eyes? I quickly snapped out of it and said "Dad!" I grabbed his arm and looked him in the eyes. I was going to rebuke him but then I realized the pain in his eyes. After a pause I quietly said, "I'll take care of this, ok?" We looked at each other for a second and then hugged fiercely. I knew he needed to be alone.

"I love you Bella. I'm so happy you are staying."

"I love you too dad."

I watched him go up the stairs to mourn privately and then I poured myself a glass of wine from one of the many open bottles. The cleaning up could wait until tomorrow. As I stood there sipping my wine, I realized that so many buried feelings had come up since I moved back here. Feelings that I wasn't going to be able to ignore. Jacob. My first true love. Still in love with me. Was I still in love with him? I didn't know. I had experienced guys besides Jacob and I wasn't sure what I wanted. I was sure I didn't want to be living in some college town married to a local mechanic. And now we were back in the same town. And who was that with the mesmerizing amber eyes? Was that my dad's student? I drank the rest of my wine and poured another glass. Only time will tell.


	2. Chapter 2

I had settled into a routine at Forks pretty quickly after the funeral

I had settled into a routine at Forks pretty quickly after the funeral. My dad spent most of his days at home, reading and researching for a new book he was working on. I was happy that he was diving into work again and he seemed as excited as he could be about his new project. He told me it was on the native folklore of Eastern Europe, specifically those of Transylvania. I'd listen to him jabber on about Vlad the Impaler and the mythology that sprung up around him as Dracula. Not exactly my favorite historical period but it was interesting enough. When I wasn't listening to my dad explain the cruel punishments Vlad imposed during his reigns, I spent most of my days unpacking and getting settled back in my old room. My dad suggested I get my own apartment but I knew deep down he wanted me at home. Plus, I hadn't been home last summer after freshman year. I spent it in Phoenix, lifeguarding and living with my girlfriends. That was a fun summer, filled with partying, boys and typical college experiences. This summer was so different.

I did miss my friends a lot in Phoenix but they understood why I wasn't coming back. I talked to them pretty regularly since I moved back to Forks and we sent each other facebook messages pretty often. I promised to visit over my spring break since Eastern Washington's was different from ASU's so at least I had that to look forward to.

So the summer past fairy quickly and before I knew it registration for fall semester was upon me. My dad had also been on my case to get my ancient Chevy truck checked out. I'd had the beater since I turned 16 and it seemed to have an eternal life. It had made the drive to Phoenix, survived nearly two years of the hot Phoenix sun and then managed to get me back to Forks. My dad was worried that it was on its last legs. I had been avoiding getting it checked out because the only mechanic my dad would let me take it to was Black's, where Jacob worked.

"Dad!" I yelled down the hall into his study. I grabbed my keys and purse. "I'm going to Black's and then to campus to register. I'll be back in a bit."

My dad emerged from his hallowed den of academia. He was holding a book, of course. "Ok, Bella. Drive safely."

I rolled my eyes. It didn't matter if I was going down the block or across the country he always said the same thing when I left. "I will Dad."

My Chevy started up as soon as I turned the ignition key. I knew this trip to Black's was going to be harder on me than my truck.

Jacob had called quite a bit since I had been home. I had avoided most of his calls and attempts to hang out by using the need-to-keep-an-eye-on-my-dad excuse. It had worked fairly well but I knew he was starting to get rather annoyed with me. He wanted to hang out. We broke up right before I had gone to college. He still had another year of high school left and I knew that a long distance relationship wasn't exactly what I had in mind during my freshman year. I knew Jacob still held a torch for me and I wasn't quite sure how to handle that.

Black's Mechanics was located in La Push, a town to the north of Forks. I think it was only smaller than Forks because Forks had the university. I pulled the truck into the garage. It was raining again and I had forgotten my jacket. I needed to get use to this weather again too.

As I got out of my truck, I saw Jacob and I waved. He smiled and quickly came over to me and my Chevy.

"Hi Bells!" he said happily.

"Hey Jake," I said smiling.

"To what do I owe the honor of your visit?" He asked me with his stupid grin on his face. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I ignored his questions and said, "Well, my dad thinks my truck is about ready to die but I know otherwise. If you could just check it out and make sure that it's running ok my dad would sleep better at night."

"Sure, thing," he said going to opening the hood. He held it up looking for a hood hinge. He looked at me and I smiled. I looked around and picked up a crow bar that was leaning against the wall. Handing it to him I said, "There isn't one."

Jacob smiled and propped the hood open. He spent a few minutes poking around the engine and checking the wires. "Well," he said, "I think you are probably right but I better run a diagnostic just in case. I wouldn't want to be responsible for an accident."

I rolled my eyes as he went to get some electronic gadgets and instruments. He came back with a stool for me to sit on. I guess this was going to take longer than I had anticipated.

Of course, as soon as he had started working the conversation started. "So, Bella. How do you like being back in Forks?"

"It's ok, I guess. I'm glad I'm here with my dad."

"It's no sunny Phoenix right?"

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "No, it most certainly is not," I said remembering my last night out with my friends in Phoenix. We had stumbled back to our apartment very drunk and ready to pass out. For some reason I couldn't exactly imagine myself doing that with my dad asleep down the hall.

He noticed my silent reverie. "What?" he asked while working on the engine. "Thinking of a boy back at ASU?" he asked smiling.

Real clever Jacob. Why don't you just ask me if I'm dating anyone I thought to myself. "No. No guy back at ASU. I was just thinking about my friends. I miss them."

I swore I saw him sigh with relief. "Well, I'm sure you will meet friends quick enough here. Everyone who knows your dad probably knows about you. He talks about you a lot to his students."

I shrugged and didn't say anything. "How is your dad?"

He returned the shrug. "Same as always. My dad's become very involved with the council lately. Since Old Thoreau died he has taken on a lot more responsibilities."

"Oh really?" I asked intrigued. It wasn't often Jacob talked about his heritage.

The Blacks were part of the Quiletes, a Native American tribe that had been part of this region since before there were Europeans in the New World. I didn't know much about his heritage. I thought it was fascinating but Jacob never really wanted to talk about it. I knew Billy and Jacob descended from an important lineage and Billy was an important member of the tribe. I only knew this because of my dad and what Billy had told him during their frequent hikes and camping trips together.

"Yeah," he said firmly. That was the end of that conversation. I sat there while Jacob worked on my truck. Finally, when I didn't think I could take any more of the awkward silence he said, "Well, it looks like you are right. Your truck is fine."

I smiled and said, "Thanks Jake."

He closed the hood. As I started to get my wallet out, he shook his head. "Bella. Please. On the house."

"Jake… I really don't feel…"

"Bella. It's me," he said quietly placing his hand on my own. Again, awkward pause. I sighed audibly.

"Are you going to ignore me for the next two years while you are in college here? Like you did while you were in Phoenix?"

I quickly snatched my hand away. "We broke up when I went to college. I didn't ignore you," I said angrily.

"Sure, by not calling me or seeing me at all during your short visits at home means that you weren't ignoring me."

"Argh!" I exclaimed. "You are so frustrating!" Although I knew deep down the reason I was frustrated was because he was right. "Jacob this is why we wouldn't have worked out even if we had stayed together! I

I opened the door to the truck and got in. Jake said, "Bella, wait. Don't be angry."

I sighed and waited for him to continue. "Would you at least get a drink with me tonight so we can talk and catch up?" he asked.

I looked at Jacob and a wave of guilt washed over me. "I thought you weren't 21 yet?"

Jacob smiled his boyish grin. "This is La Plush. I know all the bartenders, Bella."

I laughed. "Ok then. Drinks it is."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth Jake's face lit up. "Great! I'll call or text you to figure out a time!"

I couldn't help myself by smiling too. "Sure Jake. I'll talk to you later."

As I drove to campus, I decided I would deal with the dinner with Jake when it happened. No need worrying about it now. In fact, the dinner might be useful. Maybe I could clarify some things with Jake and set our boundaries. I didn't want to lose him as a friend but I also didn't want to lead on his romantic tendencies.

I signed up for the usual classes noticing that the selection of ancient history classes was slim. All of my credits had transferred so I could pretty much take any class I wanted. I did sign up for a class on Greek mythology that was looking forward to.

As I was leaving the student union after picking up my new student packet, I heard my name being called.

"Bella! Hey Bella!'

I turned around and saw a guy waving and walking towards me. He looked familiar but I couldn't quite place his face.

"Bella!" He said smiling. "We met at your house. I'm Mike."

"Oh right!" I said quickly. "How are you?"

"I'm great. Just had an information meeting for the Greek system here at EW. Where you in a sorority at ASU?"

I was right. He is a frat boy. "Ah, no. No, I wasn't."

"Oh well, cool," he said smiling. "I was hoping to catch you before classes started. We are throwing a welcome back party at the house on Thursday. You should stop by."

"Oh, cool," I said quickly. Ugh, a frat party. "Yeah, maybe I will. I'll see how my dad is doing, you know."

His smile fell. "Oh right. How is your dad doing?"

"He's doing as best he can I suppose."

"Well, that's good," he said awkwardly.

I smiled trying to end the conversation. "Well, I'll see if I can make the party then."

"Great! It's the Phi Delt house on Houston Street! Hope to see you there, Bella!"

"Sure thing Mike." I watched him walked away and immediately he saw a group of people he knew. I had been trying to avoid the frat/sorority scene since I started college. I didn't have anything against it but the Greek life just wasn't for me. Maybe I would go. At least there'd be free beer. Crappy free beer but free beer.

As I drove home I realized that I wasn't really looking forward to starting classes and I wasn't terribly happy back in Forks. I was glad I could be around for my dad but other than him I didn't really enjoy anything about Forks. I missed ASU, the sunny weather, Phoenix and my friends. Part of me felt guilty for missing my old life. My dad had just lost his second wife and here I was missing my life back in Phoenix.

"Just make the best of it Bella," I said out loud to myself. I was driving through the old part of town that still retained some of its mid-19th century historical charm when I saw an old used bookstore. I quickly parked and went into the store. If there was anything that could cheer me up it was the smell of old, used books.

The bookstore was relatively small but cozy and packed full of books. I immediately realized that I could spend an entire afternoon in the store without getting bored.

I browsed through the titles. The books were arranged by subject and I immediately went to the history section. There were always great finds to be found. I had found a book on the Hiittites for my dad for Christmas in a used bookstore in Phoenix last year.

I ran my finger over the exposed spines reading the titles slowly to myself. I was so mesmerized by the selection before me it wasn't until I felt someone staring at me that I looked away from the shelves.

Standing before me was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen. He had a tall imposing figure with broad shoulders and an angular face. His light brown hair was longer than I usually like but it was stylized to look like it had just been tousled after getting out of bed. Yum, bed head on a guy. There's not much hotter than that. But the thing that truly caught my breath was his eyes. They were the same golden amber eyes I had caught a glimpse of at the reception. Their golden color illuminated his face like a flame and I felt that they would devour me if I kept his stare any longer. I quickly looked away.

Why do I feel like I'm the one intruding? He is the one staring at me, I thought to myself. I looked up and caught his eyes again. They burned into my own. I knew I was blushing. I gathered up my courage and said with as much sarcasm as I could muster, "Can I help you?"

He bristled as I spoke. What was his problem? He didn't respond immediately, which allowed me to take a better look at him. His imposing figure again surprised me. I could tell that underneath his stylish clothes he was probably very fit. He definitely didn't fit the typical type of guy I usually found myself with in used bookstores. I looked him over again and found myself picturing a sick pack underneath his black button down shirt. I blushed even deeper.

"No," he said curtly. He stared at me a moment longer. Then he quickly walked down my aisle and right by me. I felt him visibly stiffen as he past me.

I heard the door of the bookstore shut and said out loud incredulously, "What the hell was his problem?" I couldn't understand what I had done. I felt the intense dislike emanating from his body but a look of desire was definitely in his eyes. I was annoyed by his rude reaction to my question but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to get his gorgeous face and body out of my head. I was frustrated. In more ways than one.


	3. Chapter 3

My first week of classes started off as well as they could considering that I had a disaster of a weekend

My first week of classes started off as well as they could considering that I had a disaster of a weekend. First, the drinks with Jacob on Thursday. Things started off ok. We met at a local bar in La Push, one where Jake knew the bartender and could get served. It was a hole in the wall with neon beer signs in the small window and a worn pool table and dartboard in the corner. It had a little bit of character although it was dingy and classic 90's music was playing through the jukebox. I started off with a beer because I didn't wanted to get too tipsy with Jacob and I didn't really trust the bartender with a cocktail.

"So, Bells," Jake said taking a swig of his Red Stripe. "How've ya been?"

"I've been pretty good, Jake," I said playing with the label on my Amstel Light. "How about you?" The one thing I knew what that it was easy to get Jacob taking about himself.

"Well, I can't complain. Kind of boring although I've been taking over more responsibility with the garage than normal with my dad getting more involved with the council."

"That's good," I said sipping my beer. There was a pause and I heard "Faith" by George Michael playing on the jukebox. Interesting choice for La Push, I smiled silently to myself.

"Are you dating anyone?"

I choked on my beer as the question was asked. I knew this was coming but I wasn't expecting it so bluntly asked.

"Uh, no, I'm not, Jake," I said wiping my mouth with the cocktail napkin.

Jacob looked at me very seriously and for the first time I noticed that he was growing up. In fact, he almost looked like a man. He had grown several inches, which upon reflection I found a tad strange since he was 19 and his growth spurt should have ended 4 years ago. But the gangly boy I knew and cared for was gone, and a broad shouldered, strong young man had taken his place. And beneath the jovial glimmer of his dark eyes I saw a sense of responsibility. "Bella, I am just going to come out and say it because now that you are here I don't want there to be anything weird between us," he said as he looked at me. "You know I've never gotten over you. When you went to ASU and basically forgot about me--"

"Jake, I didn't for--"

"Yes, you did Bella," Jake said interrupting me. I didn't have a response. We both knew I had. "And for a while I was very angry with you… but then you came back to Forks and I saw you again and I realized that… that I was still in love with you."

I didn't say anything but my jaw and heart dropped at pretty much the same time. I was not expecting this. Jacob asking me to get back together: yes. Jacob professing his love: no. I didn't even know what love was so I definitely knew I wasn't in love with Jacob.

I took a big gulp of my beer procrastinating my response. Jake took note and nodded to the bartender ordering me another beer. I guess he figured this was going well. Oh boy. "Jacob," I said seriously, "that is truly incredibly sweet but I just don't see how you can feel that way after two years and really only a 2 year high school relationship."

Jake didn't say anything and I couldn't tell how he was taking this so I continued. "I mean, we were so young when we dated and now, well," I said faltering, "I've had some experiences and…"

"What kind of experiences Bella?" Jacob asked harshly. "Some college experiences that I wouldn't know about. Like sex maybe?"

As Jacob said this, the bartender brought our next round over. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. That wasn't exactly what I meant. "Jake, that's not what I meant. I meant… other relationships besides the one we had in high school."

"Yeah well I've had other relationships too, Bella," Jacob said stressing the word "relationships." "I don't know what you want." I didn't say anything but instead took a sip of my beer. I could tell my silence was infuriating him until finally he burst out, "I'm not some country bumpkin you know. I know you look down on Forks and La Push like it's beneath you."

"I do not!" I said raising my voice. "It's just not where I expected to be at this point in my life!" I said as my face flushed. I could feel angry tears rising up.

"What? Not back in some little backwoods town? Where there's a decent guy that cares about you and wants to take care of you?" Jacob practically yelled. Luckily the bar was pretty empty.

"Jake! That's not what I meant! I don't know what I want! You aren't being fair!"

"Well, I don't get it. Bella and I don't know what you want either," he said throwing down a ten. "What I do know is that I love you. When you do figure out what you want call me, until then, don't." And he stormed out of the bar.

I sat at the bar for a moment trying to process what had just transpired. Jacob Black loved me. This I wasn't too surprised about. As conceited, as it might seem, I kind of saw it coming but was definitely not prepared for it. I tipped my beer back taking a long sip. The angry tears had subsided but I was still upset. I decided I didn't want to think about it anymore so I finished my beer quickly and drove home.

That had been my Thursday night. Not exactly stellar. My conversation with Jacob at been on my mind all of Friday and I was kind of moping around the house. Then I remember that I had been invited to the frat party by Mike the day before and was going to skip it all together. But of course my dad had heard about it through the faculty grapevine (one of the history professors was actually the academic liaison to Mike's house) and so he convinced me that I needed to "socialize with my peer group." I figured it would at least get my mind off Jacob.

The party was the usual: lots of crappy keg beer, bleach blonde sorority girls, guys running around like cavemen grunting and slapping each other. It was an anthropologist's dream.

I talked to Mike for about 10 seconds before he was whisked away to do a keg stand. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate the party atmosphere. God knows, students in this little college town needed some release but I was just not into the party. I talked to a couple of girls whom I found out where in some of my classes but I left the party early.

I didn't hear from Jacob all weekend and although it was what I expected I was still a tad disappointed. But as I started my first week of classes I found myself pretty psyched up. I walked into my History of the Early Roman Empire class and found a seat along the aisle of the large auditorium. I was actually quite excited about this class. My dad had only good things to say about the professor and it was a subject matter I was pretty excited about.

The professor walked in and quickly asked everyone to move down into the first 5 rows of the lecture hall. The class filled the seats up pretty quickly although the seat next to me remained empty. The professor started the class by handing out the syllabus and going through the basics of the class. It looked pretty easy: one midterm, one final and a paper. As the professor started the lecture on Julius Caesar and the events leading up to his death I started taking notes. It felt good to be writing and taking organized notes instead of dealing with the emotional issues that seemed to have been dropped upon me.

As I was writing with my head down, I heard the doors to the lecture hall open loudly interrupting the professor who was talking briefly about the Second Triumphrate and Caesar's conquest of Gaul. I looked up and saw the same hard body and figure with the golden eyes that had so rudely stared at me the other day in the bookstore.

The professor seemed to know him and said, "Ah yes, Mr. Cullen. Why don't you take your seat?"

The young man nodded silently and looked up into the tiered seats. He started walking up the side aisle and I tried very hard not to stare at him. I looked around and noticed I wasn't the only girl doing the same. The guy was unbelievably hot. I looked back to him and noticed him visibly stiffen as he continued up the stairs towards me. He stopped and looked around. There weren't any seats available on my side besides the one next to me. Unless Mr. Cullen wanted to walk all the way down the stairs and in front of the professor, who had continued his lecture, and back up the other side he was going to have to sit next to me. I saw him grimace as he walked towards my row.

He didn't say anything as he stepped over my legs and feet. I found myself gripping my pen tightly as he moved by me. His smell was intoxicating. It was a mix between a musky woodsy and the smell after a rainfall. What was his cologne? It wasn't anything I had ever smelled before. He sat down next to me and I glanced over at him. I noticed as I looked at him he positioned his body away from me.

What the hell! I thought to myself. What is his problem?

I decided I would just focus on the lecture and take really good notes. I starting writing about the death of Caesar in the Theater of Pompey when I wave of Mr. Cullen's cologne washed over me again. I found myself sighing out loud. Mr. Cullen (which was how I referred to him since I didn't know his first name) next to me sharply looked up at me like I had been shouting during the lecture. I looked down quickly at my notes.

The lecture progress fairly uneventfully. Except for the occasional wave of intoxication from Mr. Cullen I was able to focus and get through the lecture ok. When the class was over, Mr. Cullen quickly stepped over me as I put away by books and notebooks. I realized as I watched him walk out of the lecture hall (along with practically every other girl) that he hadn't taken any notes.

Later that day I stopped in to see my dad in his office. I knew he was probably curious how my first day of class went.

"Hey Dad!" I said knocking on the open door. My dad was sitting at his desk reading his email. His office was even more overrun with books than his study at home. I loved the homey, inviting feeling his little academic den pervaded.

"Hey Bells!" he said looking up. "How has your week been going?"

I sat down in the only free chair. "Oh fine."

"How was Professor McGill's Roman history class?"

I sighed. "IT was ok."

"You didn't like it?" my dad asked concerned.

I looked at my dad and smiled. "No dad I liked it a lot. Professor McGill is a good professor. It was just this guy that sat by me. He was kind of annoying."

"Who?" my dad asked as the concerned father not the interested professor.

"Oh I don't know," I said waving my hand. "His last name is Cullen."

"Edward Cullen?" my dad asked. "He was the boy at your step-mother's funeral."

"Oh," I said quietly. I remembered the same golden eyes from the funeral, the bookstore and the lecture. "Well, I'm sure he didn't know who I was," I said noticing my dad's sad eyes.

We looked at each other silently and then I smiled at my dad and he smiled back. We were ok.

"Ok, well I am going to go to the library and see if I can get started on this Roman paper," I said getting up and coming over to kiss my dad on the cheek.

"Getting a head start, Bella?" he said. "Just remember to have fun."

"Yeah, yeah dad," I said walking out of his office.

I walked into the library and Edward Cullen evaporated out of my mind. I was so happy to be in a hall of intellectualism especially one that had such beautiful architecture. The main reading room of the library looked like a great hall of a Gothic abbey or castle. It was large, airy, and lit so well. There were plenty of empty reading tables because it was the first week of class, which was great. No people to distract me.

After a little while I had figured out what I wanted to write my paper on: the cult of Augustus. It was something that I had only had a little instruction in at ASU so I was excited to learn something new. I had a list of books I needed to pull from the stacks. I went upstairs where the ancient history books were located and found them completely quiet.

As I walked down the aisles of books upon books I smiled slowly to myself. This was a perfect place for me. As much as I liked to have fun, party with my friends and meet guys, I was really a bit of a nerd at heart. The musty smell of old books and the silence that you could cut with a knife made me so happy.

Too quickly I found the aisle with my books. I ran my finger down the spines of the books, a quirk I seemed to have inherited from my father. Absentmindedly I looked at the tittles until I finally saw I was in my section. I began to focus on my research. Slowly I began to realize that I was not alone in the stacks.

I was crouching down looking at some of the books on Roman archaeology when I looked up and saw Edward Cullen staring down at me. Again, those golden eyes burning into my own.

I stood up and said, "Can I help you?"

Edward looked at me and then blinked. "No, thank you."

I didn't say anything except looked at him again and then when back to my research. However, I wasn't paying any attention to the titles but only to Edward Cullen standing only a couple feet away from him. Again, his cologne washed over me and I was struck again by his intoxication.

Then suddenly, "What are you looking for?" he asked with a smooth, beautiful voice.

I looked up determined not to be intimidated by his gorgeousness. He was a pompous jerk. "Late to early Roman architecture in Rome," I said quickly without looking up.

He moved down the aisle and crouched down next to me. I took a deep breath when he got close. "I think this book will be helpful," he said pulling out and handing me a book.

'Th-thank you," I managed to stumble out. As Edward stood up and I did the same, although too quickly. I was extremely dizzy and my vision went black. I realized on some consciousness that my blood sugar had dropped. I stepped into Edward and he caught me in his arms.

I felt him tense but then, "Are you ok?"

I sagged into him again but then composed myself. "Yeah, I'm ok. I think."

We didn't move for nearly a second but I felt his arm tighten around my waist. I looked up at his face and I noticed that he was breathing heavily but quietly. I licked my lips unconsciously and looked up into Edward's face. The tension between the two of us was palpable. He leaned in and slightly opened his mouth. And although I was thinking "what are you doing Bella? He's a jerk and you don't even know him," I closed my eyes and pressed my body to his hard chest. Absentmindedly, I noticed he was cold to the touch and rock hard but I felt his arm tighten around my waist and heard him inhale sharply. I leaned back my head and closed my eyes.

Then suddenly, Edward pushed me away and in a glance was around the corner and down the hall of the stacks. I stepped back against the books and caught my breath. Why didn't he kiss me? Does he despise me? What the hell was going on?


	4. Chapter 4

Besides the encounter with Edward Cullen in the stacks of the library, the rest of my first week of classes was uneventful

Besides the encounter with Edward Cullen in the stacks of the library, the rest of my first week of classes was uneventful. The next meeting of my Roman history class, I noticed that Edward Cullen made sure to sit as far away from me as possible. Besides this annoyingly rude behavior by this one boy, I was pretty happy. I was taking a French class, a psychology course and an intro course on women's studies. And my social life had taken off as well. Mike had tracked me down after one of my classes and asked me to another Greek party. This time it was an exchange party between Mike's frat and one of the sororities on campus. It was going to be themed but he wasn't sure what it was yet because the girls in the sorority couldn't make up their minds. I agreed to go and promised myself I would be friendlier at the next party. Mike was a nice guy at least and my dad seemed to approve. I had mentioned the party and Mike to him and he seemed to think he was a decent guy having had him in one of his intermediate courses.

The day of the party came up sooner rather than later and Mike texted me to let me know that it was luau themed and outdoors. Hmm, a dilemma presented itself to me. Obviously the girls in the sorority picked this theme so that they could wear bikinis even though it would probably be around 45 degrees during the party. Either I could be like one of the girls and wear a bikini and a mini skirt or I could be smart and wear something sexy yet appropriate. I settled on a jeans mini skirt and a low cut red shirt that showed off my blonde hair.

I arrived at the sorority house around 10:30 because Mike said they were "pre-gaming" and wanted to hang out before the party got started.

"Hey Bella!" Mike said giving me a hug while holding a PBR in his hand.

"Hey!' I said. "I brought this," I said holding up the 6 pack I had brought. I knew that there would be plenty of beer but thought it would be a nice gesture.

He smiled. "Thanks Bella but you didn't have to do that!" I shrugged and smiled. "Well c'mon in and let me introduce you to everyone!"

We walked into the main living room where there were two ping pong tables set up. One was lined on either side with Solo cups and the other was set up nicely with pyramids of cups at either end. A small group of people were gathered around the first table. It was clear they had just ended a game of Flip Cup. The other was obviously for beer pong.

Mike introduced me to the girls and guys that were there. Everyone seemed pretty nice although the girls were a little more wary of me than the guys. The only girl that was genuinely nice to me was named Jessica. She was sweet and asked me to be on her team of Flip Cup.

I had played plenty of Flip Cup in my first year of college at ASU. It's pretty easy as long as you can drink beer quickly. We played a couple of games and while the girls were definitely buzzed I was fine. For some reason I had an uncanny ability to drink a lot without getting drunk quickly. This was good and bad. I usually drank a lot in these types of situations but it also usually meant I drank too much.

Despite my misgivings about the party, I was actually having a pretty good time. As more and more people showed up it only got more fun. The music was good and the girls in the sorority weren't too annoying. Jessica was really nice and Mike was being very attentive. It turned out to be pretty easy to talk to him. Mike and I were standing to one side of the make shift dance floor talking about sports. He was surprised I knew anything about college football but I was able to keep up with him about the PAC-10. Plus the beer wasn't as crappy as the last frat party which helped the conversation.

I could tell that Mike was getting a little drunk and was definitely flirting with me. Every so often he would touch my shoulder or grab my hand. We were talking about USC's complete rout of Ohio State when I thought I saw a familiar face and body walk across the room. My conversation with Mike continued for a while but eventually I needed to make sure it wasn't who I thought it was that walked into the party.

I pulled the most classic excuse any woman has ever used on a man in order to get away from a guy. "Mike, would you mind getting me another beer?"

"Oh, sure Bella!" He said taking my beer. "I'll be right back."

I smiled and watched him walk away. When he had turned the corner, I started to make my way across the dance floor. Jessica was dancing with a guy to Estelle's "American Boy" and I smiled at her. They were kinda cute together. I gave her a big smile of approval. I squeezed my way through the dancing crowd and made my way through to the back porch that look over a large backyard.

There was a large group of people smoking cigarettes and "other" things on the deck. A couple of guys offered a cigarette to me but I passed on the smoking and looked around for the guy I thought I saw. I asked around if anyone had seen who I was looking for and they said that he had walked off with a couple of people out into the yard.

I walked down the deck and out into the yard. I heard a couple of people who were shotgunning beers and laughing. I smiled and walked out into the yard. It was pretty dark but I noticed a group of people who were also smoking. I yelled out tentatively, "Jake?"

All talking ceased and I couldn't make out the faces of the group. And then I heard the smooth, soft voice that I wasn't expecting, "Bella?"

I realized immediately that it wasn't Jake but Edward Cullen. Even though I had only met him twice I knew right away that it was him. I stiffened and wanted to go back to the party and Mike with my beer. But I felt frozen on the spot.

Slowly I saw Edward come up to me from his small crowd of friends. He seemed to float across the grass. And it was only when he was standing less than a foot in front of me did I realize I was holding my breath.

"Hey Bella," he said smiling slightly.

"Uh, hey," I said awkwardly. This was very strange. He had been such a jerk to me and now he was all friendly… what was going on. I wanted to look around trying to find Jacob. He was the one I thought I saw earlier but I couldn't look away from Edward's perfect golden eyes and hard edged jaw.

"I thought I might see you here tonight," he said taking one step toward me. I didn't move. His musky scent waifed over me and I swooned slightly.

I slowly snapped out of my revery. "Oh really? I don't even think I know your name," I lied.

He smiled slightly I stared hard into his eyes determined not to blink. "My name is Edward," he said holding out his hand.

I took it slowly and shook it. "Nice to meet you Edward," I said unsmiling. "I'm Bella. But you already knew that."

He laughed quietly and took back his hand. And then the smile vanished and he stepped toward me again. This time I tried to step back but I hesitated. Edward didn't stop staring at me and I didn't look away.

"You look very ncie tonight Bella," he said sincerely.

'Th- thank you," I said exhaling loudly. Exsparated I asked "what are you doing here? I didn't think this would be your sort of party."

His eyes narrowed. "Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know," I said clumsily, "I guess, I just thought… well I thought that this wouldn't be your kind of party." I exhaled again.

He smiled his brilliant smile again. "I thought you didn't know who I was Bella."

I smirked but didn't say anything. I realized I was breathing heavily and my chest was moving up and down. Still smiling he reached his hand out and touched my shoulder. I inhaled sharply. He leaned in and moved his hand up to my neck. I could hear his breath and realized again that I was holding my breath.

"I look forward to seeing you again Bella," he said. And then smiling and in the blink of an eye he was gone and so was his group of friends.

I stood there in the middle of the lawn breathing heavily. What was going on? First, Edward Cullen despises me, ignoring me and virtually avoiding me. Now he wants to see me again.

Suddenly, someone was shaking me. 'Bella! Are you ok?"

"What?" I said absentmindedly blinkly. I felt like I was coming out of a trance.

"Bella! Are you ok?" I heard Jacob's voice and I shook my head.

"Yeah, I'm ok," I said shaking off Jacob. Then I realized he was there. "Wait, what are you doing here?" I asked him confused.

Jacob's concern turned to anger. "Nothing, nothing, Bella." He said walking away.

"What?!' I yelled at him. "What did I do now?"

He turned around on me. "Nothing! You've done nothing! Per usual!"

"Jake, don't walk away, please," I said exasperated.

"What? Are you surprised I'm here? I'm worried about you!"

"Why are you worried about me? There's nothing to be worried about! I'm fine!" I practically yelled at me. That was when I noticed that all the people smoking on the porch were looking at us.

Jake looked at them and then me. He walked towards me and said, "Look, Bella. You think you are this big city girl, knowing the world, so sophisticated. But, there are things you don't know about, there are things here that you don't…" he said letting his voice drop off.

"What?? What don't I know about!" I practically screamed at him. I was so angry at Jacob for no real reason, although I didn't realize this until later. And flustered by Edward and his golden eyes and intoxicating smell.

He turned on me and said, "That you don't understand!"

We both stopped. "Look Jake," I said calmly. "I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know why you are here. But you are. And I'm glad to see you. But what the hell is going on?" I asked.

Jake stared at me and said, "Nothing Bella. I don't want anything from you." And he walked away with a group of friends.

I sighed with aggravation. I walked back up to the porch and into the kitchen. What was going on? Why are all these guys driving me crazy?

"Hey Bella! I've been looking for you! Here's your beer!"

I looked up and there was Mike. I smiled, took the beer and started chugging.

"Hey Bells, slow down," Mike said cautiously.

I kept chugging and then took a breath. I looked at him and took his hand. I led him into the kitchen where there were several people doing shots. I asked for two shots of whiskey and heard hollers. Obviously these kids didn't know how to do shots.

"Here," I said handing Mike the shot. We clinked glasses and took the shots. Mike smiled at me and then kissed me. He kissed me hard in front of everyone. I realized I wanted him. I pulled away and said, "We need another."

We took another shot and then kissed again. There were a couple of hoots and hollers. The kiss was longer and more sensual. I knew that I was doing this because I was so upset about the way the night went. There was absolutely something between Edward and I but Jake had been so, almost protective with me which was annoying in the end. And then, I did really like Mike. He was a nice guy and at the end of then night, I decided I was going to be selfish. I needed a little attention.

I took his hand and kissed him again. His hand ran up my back. I pulled away again to hollers. I lead him away from the kitchen all the while he smiled and laughed off his buddies who were doing beer bongs and shots. As we walked upstairs to the hallway of bedrooms I glanced downstairs. There, standing in the middle of the dance floor looking at me was Jacob. I glared at him and then looked at Mike. Mike kissed me hard and I felt his hands all over my body. I would have stopped him but I knew Jake was looking.

I pulled away and pulled him upstairs. I was happier that I had pissed off Jake than the fact that Mike was totally into me. I only realized when Mike led me into an empty bedroom where this was going.

For a second I knew that I needed to walk away, but then I realized that I didn't really care. I was lonely and he could kiss. I didn't know how I felt about Mike or Jacob… or even Edward. Why was I even thinking about Edward? I thought as Mike kissed me. His hands slowly moved up the sides of my body and I arched my back pushing my chest into his. As he kissed my neck, I moaned lowly and then realized I wasn't thinking about Mike but I was thinking about Edward and his golden eyes.

I pushed Mike onto the bed with the hope I could push Edward out of my thoughts. I started kissing him hard and felt his hands move up my back. At this point, my skirt had moved well beyond appropriate and so had Mike's hands. I closed off my mind and went with the night.


End file.
